While meditating last night upon the pandemic of hate/anger in our country, this message came to me. What emerged was a pathway to dealing with anger and a reminder of our Divine Potential.
We are beginning to see what our anger can do to relationships and, even more so, to ourselves. This feeling/seeing/knowing is for our personal development and understanding of energy and responsibility. Believe it or not – our increasing awareness is good, albeit sometimes uncomfortable. Learning to know ourselves is necessary to humanity’s evolutionary progress. If we slow down, we can feel the emotions/beliefs we hold in our bodies. Our emotions/beliefs can heal when we feel and acknowledge them. Anger can be insidious if left unchecked. It demands your life force energy and feeds off of it. Some people allow their anger to become their identity, so they constantly look for excuses to justify their rage or someone/something to direct their anger to. They wear their anger like a badge. It helps the holder to feel special, and it masks their role & responsibility in the drama. Anger, out of balance, can blind us to truths. It also can bind us to a cycle of denial, feelings of entitlement, or victimhood. These unattended thoughts disrupt our natural flow.
Science has proven that unhealed anger and other repressed emotions can significantly diminish our health and cause illness. Anger and hate short-circuit the connection to our Hearts Wisdom, our clarity, and our life force energy. Anger allowed to fester becomes a noxious weed in the Garden of our Lives. Our society does not teach us to deal with emotions in a healthy manner. We learned to deny/suppress the less than pretty feelings. This practice has not served humanity well. All emotions, including anger, serve as a barometer. Our feelings let us know where we are in our beliefs and thoughts. They let us know the direction that we are heading. Anger is a secondary emotion. There are other emotions at the core of it. Helplessness, shame, hopelessness, fear, and jealousy are examples of core emotions. If they remain unaddressed, they can erupt into something destructive to others and ourselves. I offer some steps to help us to understand and navigate our emotions and anger more effectively:
- Checking in with yourself is an essential first step. How did you feel before you got angry? (tired, irritable, hungry, happy, etc.) This practice helps you take a step back from the intensity and process your feelings.
- Ask yourself if your assessment of the situation is accurate. To gage this, ask yourself:
- Why am I angry? Be specific.
- Did I do anything to contribute to the issue in words or deeds?
- Is there another way for me to look at this situation?
- Am I operating with all the information that I require to make a decision? Do I need to ask more questions?
- What emotions did this event/person trigger? Does that emotion have some history?
- Is fatigue, other stress, hunger, etc., coloring my anger? Would I feel differently if I took the time to sleep on it or walk it off?
- Were my principles violated or values attacked?
- Is this part of a larger pattern of behavior? Mine and the other persons?
Sometimes it helps to write out your answers and anything else you feel. This practice releases the energy from your body. Writing it out can help us go deeper to get to the issue’s root. This process provides a path to a clearer understanding of ourselves. It helps us cultivate empathy because we learn to honor, listen, and feel ourselves. This space is hallowed ground. Cultivating compassion toward ourselves carries forward into our lives and our relationships. The quality of our lives and relationships improve.
I offer this visualization as another tool: Close your eyes for a moment. Breathe deeply and steadily. Relax into your body. In your mind’s eye, envision your life as a garden – do you see/feel mostly greenery, flowers, brambles, weeds, or a mixture? What are the colors, what is the landscape, and what feelings arise? Observe and note these. They are present-day indicators of the state of your Heart and mind – your inner landscape. Allow the garden or landscape to take shape without interference from your mind. Whatever images you see serve as helpers. Your visualization is not a place of judgment. Accept what you see as a path to greater self-awareness and power. Weeds (dandelions not included) in the landscape may indicate disruptive emotions like anger in the Garden of your Life. Brambles could represent tangled or deeply seated feelings. Remember to view the scene as a whole. Is it cold or warm? Sunny, overcast, or dark? Breezy, windy, or calm? All have significance. Your senses are registering more than you know. Trust the wisdom of your Heart to help you to understand. Feel into its wisdom. Try this visualization more than once. You may find it a helpful resource in your spiritual toolkit with practice.
Anger is neither positive nor negative, but it does serve a purpose. It shows us through our discomfort what needs to change. It is human nature to look for the reason or/and what needs to change outside of ourselves. I want to suggest that we start from within ourselves. Our anger may be asking us to review our beliefs and thoughts. There may be some that no longer support our aspirations or personal growth. The review process is an empowering first step. If there are other variables to consider or address – you will approach them with greater self-awareness and grounded presence. Lasting change is an inside job. As you navigate this process, please forgive whatever shadows you discover within yourself. Forgiveness and healing work together. Forgive the other people involved, as well. Forgiveness is a process. Be patient. This work reminds me that each of us has the power to recreate our lives by pruning and cultivating our inner landscape. If each of us did this – our world would undergo massive healing. In truth, our grievances are smaller than our Potential. When we open our Hearts – we give our Potential space to bloom. And, we may come to realize that we never left the Garden. Each of us has simply forgotten it was right there in our Hearts.
With Love & Deep Respect for our Journey!
Diana
Thank you for writing this. It was much needed as I have been caught up in battles with myself and others. The steps that you suggested really helped me to slow down and clarify what was mine and what was others. God Bless you!
Great article! I found it very therapeutic! I appreciate the guidance and the sensitivity in which you wrote this piece. Thank you.
Going through these questions really helped me. It took me out of judgement toward myself and other so that I could have empathy for both. I was thinking about use of the word empathy particularly in relation to self. I’ve heard of compassion for self, but never empathy. I thought of how empathy was about feeling someone else’s pain with them and I didn’t think you could do that for yourself because the pain was yours to begin with. Then it occurred to me what you wrote about suppressed emotions and it made perfect sense that we would bring a more loving, aware presence, a stronger self, more able to feel what was initially stuffed down, to the wounded self that had been left there waiting all along. The questions helped get me to that state of loving awareness so I was able to provide a sense of safety and strength for myself to revisit what was too much at the time. Thank you!
Wow! I was looking to see if you were still in practice and scrolling through your website I was somehow guided to this blog. I’ve been angry for so long I’ve actually forgotten what I used to be like. Thank you for helping me even accidentally… or more likely intuitively.